


This is Utterly Stupid

by Shareece (kimbob)



Series: Winter Is Here Series [2]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, At the Wall, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Falling In Love, Fear, Humor, Unplanned Pregnancy, winter is here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-19
Updated: 2014-12-19
Packaged: 2018-03-02 04:31:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2799653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kimbob/pseuds/Shareece
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He had known. He had.</p>
            </blockquote>





	This is Utterly Stupid

The sound of vomiting was the first thing to touch Jaime’s ears as he entered their room. He slowly closed the door behind him, frowning as he caught sight of Brienne, face buried in the bucket he had given her earlier before he went out on watch. He began to remove his furs, tossing them onto the chair with a sigh as he tried to stamp down the worry he felt. 

He poured her a cup of water and held it out to her when she lifted her head. He smiled softly as she took it from him and he watched as she quickly rinsed out her mouth, spitting back into the bucket with a sigh. He gently grabbed the bucket from her hands and moved to place it outside their room. He’d been sitting in frigid weather for the past twelve hours, the last thing he wanted was to smell vomit for the rest of the night. 

“Thank you.” She said quietly. He nodded as he moved to sit with her in front of the fire. 

“It’s quiet tonight.” He said softly. He held his hand and stump out toward the fire to catch it’s warmth. “Which means tomorrow will be seven hells.” He glanced at her sideways, noticing her sick pallor. She was very pale and Jaime again had to swallow down the sudden fear he felt. “How are you feeling my lady?”

Brienne shrugged as she lowered her eyes. She moved closer toward him on their pallet of furs, pressing her bare leg against his own. 

Jaime placed his arm around her shoulders, surprised when she had lied her head against his shoulder in a show of her need for him. “What is the matter?” He asked quietly. 

As soon as the question was out of his mouth, Brienne felt tears spring to her eyes. She bit her lip with a sigh as they began to slide down her cheeks. 

“Brienne?” Jaime asked, sounding worried. She lifted her head and his frown deepened. “What is this?” He asked as he raised his fingers to her tear stained face. 

Brienne sniffed. “They are tears, Ser.” 

Jaime rolled his eyes. Any other time he would be moved and amused by her ability to try at sarcasm, but this was not one of those times. “Brienne.” He said carefully. “What has brought you to tears my lady?” He tilted his head, noticing her lips had swelled even more with her sadness. He fought the sudden urge to kiss them. 

Brienne’s chin quivered in a ridiculous fashion as she slowly opened her mouth to reveal the truth. “As you’ve noticed I’ve been sick for the past week.” 

Jaime nodded silently. He has noticed. How could he not? She has been vomiting after every meal each day; to the point where she didn’t want to eat. She couldn’t even keep down the broth he had forced her to drink before he went out on his watch.

Brienne sniffled as she continued. “I thought it was the boar I had eaten. It-It never agrees with me. You know that.” 

Jaime merely nodded again; looking away from her. She hated boar, but besides chicken, it was all they had to eat at the wall. 

Brienne was quiet again; So long Jaime had to look at her to make sure she was still awake. He was startled by the utter despair on her face. He hadn’t seen such despair since the night she fell crying into his arms, the confession of her betrayal of him to Lady Stoneheart pouring from her lips. He had forgiven her of course. There was actually nothing to forgive during that time and there will be nothing to forgive this time. He took a deep breath as he brushed her hair from the side of her face. It was growing longer he noted. “Tell me?” He implored gently. 

Brienne breathed in deeply before speaking again. “I’d thought it was the boar but—I noticed I hadn’t bled yet for two fortnights.” 

One month. Jaime immediately tensed as he stared at the woman he undoubtedly loved with his very being. His heart began to beat so hard and loud he could practically hear it in the quiet of their room. He closed his eyes as he felt the familiar fear begin to creep its way into his head; into his very soul. Gods why? He had known. He had. He had noticed the slight changes in her two nights ago. The obvious swelling in her breast; the way she had hissed and pulled away from him when he had wrapped his lips around a taught rosy nipple, mumbling how painful that was for her. Her reaction had reminded him of the very brief times he had been with Cersei when she was—He stopped his thoughts with a shake of his head. He didn’t want to think that. He couldn’t. It couldn’t be true. He felt his initial fear change into all out terror at the thought of the truth. Jaime could feel himself begin to do something he hadn’t done in quite a while. 

He started to go away inside. The fear dulled instantly. The pain and knowledge that he and Brienne were doomed dissipated to that wonderful numbness he had mastered long ago. He blinked as he felt the familiar brush of fingers against his forehead, nose, and then finally his lips. His eyes focused on Brienne’s, his heart skipping a beat as he met her sad blue ones. 

“Please don’t. Don’t leave.” She whispered brokenly, immediately snapping him back to reality. 

No. He couldn’t escape. She needed him. He took a deep breath as he spoke. “I—I knew.” He said. “I’ve noticed you hadn’t bled, but I--” He didn’t mention it. He hadn’t wanted to think on it. They had run out of moon tea. Tansy had stopped growing because of the cold from this long awful winter. Ever since then he had been pulling out before he could—gods that sounded stupid. He shook his head and wrapped his hand around her own. “Brienne, I--” The words were stuck in his throat and for the first time in his entire life Jaime Lannister did not know what to say. 

More tears gathered in her eyes and Jaime was sure that she could see the fear in his eyes. “What are we going to do?” 

Jaime swallowed his fear and bundled her large body closer. “Well, I can both have you as my wife and forbid you to fight, but then I would surely end up with a broken nose. I could, as your Lord Commander, command you to no longer fight, but still, a broken nose would be the consequence. I could bodily drag you to the dungeons and lock you there until spring comes, but then who will warm my bed?” 

Brienne chuffed out a laugh as she gently elbowed him. Jaime smiled, glad to see her smiling through her tears. 

Jaime’s grin widened. “There you are.” He said, leaning over to brush his lips against her own. When he pulled away, the tears had dried up making his smile brighten even more. 

Brienne sobered as his hand caressed the side of her face. “This is no time for a child.” 

“No,” He agreed. “It is not.” 

Brienne’s beautiful blue eyes hardened. “I do not wish to—to get rid of our-“ He cut her off with a kiss. 

“I would not ask of it.” He said softly. He kissed her again and pulled away with a shake of his head. The things he did for love. This was stupid. Utterly stupid, but he could already see the possibility. He could already see the boy or girl with Brienne’s straw gold hair and beautiful blue eyes. He felt his heart swell in the most ridiculous fashion at the thought of it. 

Brienne squeezed his hand as she spoke. “I’ll—I’ll fight as long as I can. Until my armor no longer fits.” 

Jaime snorted. Utterly stupid. “I suppose.” He said quietly. “Or you could eventually wear SamWell’s mail…Oaf!” He said when she elbowed him harder. “Dammit Wench!” He said, rubbing his probably bruised ribs. “I have to worry about White Walkers and wights ripping my head off and now I have to worry about my future wife attacking me?” 

She blushed as he mentioned her as his future wife as she always did. “Given our new circumstances. We do not have to wait until after the war as we had planned.” 

“As you had planned.” He corrected calmly although inside his heart soared at her words. His poor heart. He’d wanted to marry her the first time their lips had touched. Tyrion was right when he called him disgustingly sentimental. “I know you wanted your father to be at your wedding.” It was the main reason they had decided to wait until after the war. 

Brienne shrugged. “He’ll be more upset if I give birth before I am properly wed.” She entwined their fingers. “What are we doing?” She asked and he shrugged. 

“I haven’t a clue my lady, but that has never stopped us from doing impossible things before.”

Brienne’s other hand moved to her still flat abdomen. “We are going to be parents.” She whispered with awe. 

Technically Jaime was already a parent, but he carefully didn’t remind her. Besides, the children he had fathered with Cersei were no more his children than they were Robert’s own. He glanced at his wife to be, hope mixed with terror blooming in his chest as he realized he would get an actual real chance at being a father. First, they had a war to win. “You’ll be a wonderful mother.” He murmured, placing his left hand over the one that covered her stomach. 

Brienne smiled. “And you a father.” She said truthfully, warming him with her words. Her smile suddenly disappeared. “I do not wish to be a distraction for you on the battlefield.” 

Jaime rolled his eyes. “Wench, you are already a distraction.”

“You know my meaning.” She whispered with frustration. 

“I know.” He said gravely. He turned, grasping her waist, noticing for the first time that she wore his tunic and nothing else. He felt the quick stirrings of desire as he stared at her bare thighs. He pulled her down onto his chest as he wrapped both arms around her. “But now, my lady. My love. My wench. I have two reasons to live through and win this war.”


End file.
